IS LIFE TREATING YOU OR ARE YOU TREATING LIFE? ( DARE2DOUBT PART 5)
An EARTH DAY EDITION
Someone once asked me, "How's it going? How is life treating you?"
What is it? A point of view?
It is not a what but a how. It's an ACTION! Sometimes a reaction to remembering an action. Infinity right?
I say that perspective is how you think, how you speak, how you listen, how you see, how you feel, or how you touch. It is very two-dimensional at best. It is a representation. It is a view through a lens.
The lens could be you. Or it could be from someone else and not you. Or from a specific group but not from others.
Few things about perspective can be universal because of all that bias and baggage in each of us. We might say everyone agrees on something, but we know that's inaccurate. (Even within our "special" group)
These days we tend to categorize things as good, bad, great, or unfortunate. Then we judge them, our life, or the lives of others using these feelings from our perspectives.
But doubting says, "STOP! What if I am wrong? What if you're wrong? What if no one is wrong?"
The only thing I like about "It is what it is" is its accuracy. But I dare not simply accept a meaningless and non-contemplative path afterward.
Life (truly) "is what it is" because volcanoes don't consciously hope that they don't harm anyone before lava destroys or kills. Kidney stones don't consciously think about the harm they cause or the pain they cause before they push through the body. They just do. Nature happens.
But perhaps we can find some use. NOT PURPOSE! USE!
Perhaps the issue isn't that something is horrible or wonderful in our lives, but rather, that we are not dealing with simply what we have.
We are not USING life instead of life using us. (Because things don't think!)
Is it possible that instead of things being horrible and unbearable, we might instead start using the events in our life, whether we consider them good or bad, to our advantage?
Perhaps something terrible in our life is now a tool that causes us to be more mindful or more creative, or attentive.
Perhaps even our suffering can be useful, rather than simply being solely a horrific pain, event, or even heartbreak that replays along with the greatest hits of trauma in our dreams and our daydreams.
I am not justifying pain or tragedy! No way!
Bad is bad, and that's a fact. We live. We hurt. We feel.
And speaking of that. What about PEOPLE that hurt us? Don't THEY think? They aren't inanimate. How do we deal with that? How is that "is what it is?" (Damn them to hell, right?)
Well, when we assign meaning to what happens or what someone does, we use a perspective to judge the situation rather than seeing it for what it is.
So, yes, the person that hurts you, whether intentionally or not, has more thought than a kidney stone or volcano, but it is still a stone in the road.
The reason why we continue to feel the hurt from others is that we are still dwelling on the inanimate because it is a past event! It happened. It's already done.
DONE! PAST! OVER! IT IS NOW JUST A THOUGHT! With residual damage of course! OUCH!!!!
The past is inanimate. Not sure if you remember that because I believe I just said that. But it is.
The past is inanimate. It does not exist other than a concept or the trail or scar it might have left behind. It is the absent tornado. Yes, your town is destroyed. Yes, your life is damaged in some way. YES!!!
But, do I think about the tornado, or do I rebuild the town?...and possibly be stronger or better? Maybe the town will relocate. (You clever escape artists!)
We have a life. We can choose to curse the bricks hurdling down on us as we ascend the mountain of life, or we can use the stones as tools, things to step on and move higher or to the side. Perhaps the stones, as horrible as they are, allow us to stand on something more solid than wishful thinking. In truth, those stones are very solid and very real to us, but they are just rocks.
I am not one of those people that believes everything has a purpose. I will leave that to your own beliefs. No, I am not talking about that kind of reflection. I will caution you from drinking that poisonous libation called "What if?" Don't go there. Dead end. Not good.
I am asking, "Can we take what life has given us and then attempt to use it, rather than simply something that uses us?"
How are YOU treating life? Do you need a hug? Fine.
First, hug yourself!
I am not talking about assigning meaning to things, I am talking about USING life to be more thoughtful, better, or even grateful.
Meaning does not have to be assigned. It can be created.
What is going on in your life is horrible! I understand!
But perhaps the rock in the road allows you to turn and see the beauty of the side. Or perhaps, the rock in the road teaches you something or allows you to stand on solid ground as you step on the rock. Yah! You made it!
Or, perhaps, you are stuck assigning or figuring out a purpose.
Again...PLEASE DON'T DO THAT! Assigning a purpose is a perspective that is highly biased and judgemental! It is quicksand. Rather, create.
Use life as a tool. And if you cannot figure out how to do that, that's ok. You don't have to figure out everything. But it is ok to question.
How are YOU treating life?
HAPPY EARTH DAY!!!